Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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