Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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