she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have already put on my inside pants.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
