oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
