last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize