so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
