fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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