We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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