Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
