They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
