bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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