her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
