Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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