had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
