I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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