I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
