i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
