I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
