Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
