i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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