Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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