Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize