I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
