we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
