At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize