So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
