i just google imaged poop.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize