is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We are two peas in an std pod
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
