what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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