spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
