So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
