You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
