I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
