Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
