So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
