On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
