It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
