After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize