She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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