Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
