Porn is love you can see.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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