i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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