It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
