jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
