dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
