she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
