She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
