Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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