I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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