I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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