you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
