He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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