somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize