So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
