You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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