Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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