Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
