So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize