Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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