god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
