I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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