I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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